I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like my life here in Texas has become very...forced? No, more like, I feel like the role I play in my life is continuously fading, and I'm becoming less and less a part of it. I've been feeling like this for a few weeks now, very faintly, but today I went to see Camp Broadway's Shrek Jr. (Our theatre department does a camp during the summer where the kids from I believe K-Incoming freshman can put together a show under the direction of SHS theatre students, alumni, and of course the directors, called Camp Broadway) and I felt so awkward and out of place. I didn't help out with the show, because I never found out when rehearsals were and I've also been pretty busy, but I decided to come and watch the last performance, to see everyone before I left. I hung around one of my friends just about the whole time, but I just had this feeling that whole time that I shouldn't have been there. Same thing when I hang out with my friends on a normal day, I just don't feel right about it anymore. I feel like it's normal though, I'm about to leave for a year, and my brain is anticipating it. I still had fun, and I hope Odense has some form of theatre, so I don't feel like this for long.
Another thing I've noticed, is that I've been sitting around more. I don't want to pack, I've been tired more often and I've been eating enough for a stomach twice the size of mine. Nervous habits, I know, but sometimes I just sit there and ask myself what I'm doing. It's nice though, I can spend the time with my cats that I won't be able to. I think they can sense that I'm leaving soon. They've been friendlier and more needy than they've ever been, and they kind of fight for my attention in a way. Last night Moon was laying in my lap, and Cira came over to me, wanting to be pet, and Moon would use her paw to try and push Cira away, and when that didn't work, she'd get closer to her and bat at Cira with both paws. It's actually really cute.
Though all I've mentioned about my feelings about leaving so far seems super negative, I'm actually counting down the minutes almost. I'm about to jump out of my skin, I want to leave so bad. I'm ready to meet people, and be immersed in everything Denmark, it's insane. I'm going to my sponsor Rotary club on Tuesday, I haven't been there since January or February, so I think it'll be nice. Not to mention the food served at Rotary meetings is literally music to my mouth. Does that sound weird? I'm pretty weird.
I know I have to start packing soon, like, a right away kind of soon. I'm going to clean up my room and wash some clothes so I can get on that. I also have to go to Walmart and buy the things I made a list of. I'm glad I'm not stressing about this, I know everything will end up being absolutely fantastic. I may be having to say bye to my friends, family, pets, and life, but the good outweighs the bad and I'll be back.
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| I hung out with my friend Kenneth for the majority of the time, and bugged him while he was working lights :) |
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